Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Ran out of things to say...

So late Friday night, early Saturday morning I decided to delete a post. It was not significant, thus it didn't get posted, though the time stamp appeared.
I thought this strange, a little spooky. My thoughts.. as insignificant as they were at the time had significance in that particular space and time. Enough significance that it got posted.

Do we give significance to things some times that do not require the attention we believe they deserve? I think we all do. Whether it's to question someone about their motive or reaction, or to simply indicate we do not agree with a thing said or a thing done. So, like my blog on Dec 27, it gets some form of acknowledgement some form of acceptance. Deserved or not.

I guess being in the moment really means being in that very moment. That with understanding there is context and content that is articulated well enough for someone else to understand, to give value to it, and to its speaker/writer.

Here's to the moments spent on blogging... the one writing and the one reading.

Saturday, December 27, 2008


are the times we think fondly on
are the few people we care to be around
are the things we hold on to
are the days of our lives should we choose

Lost ....

Like left socks in the dryer
Like memories to youth
Like pennies saved for rainy days
Like education to get you higher

Lost like the daydreams dreamt by those who dare to dream
For they forever become and do the things they have dreamt of.

End of a Season

Its already been here and gone. Its already the 'best after Xmas deals" season.

I'm not ready for that one. I want to sit in the afterglow of a long awaited visit from family, and rest on the laurels of what this christmas brought to me.

Its not the gifts I have stacked underneath my tree, its not the fact that my lil one now has a cell phone before her father does, its nothing physical. The feeling of having family around cannot be measured by mere items and free stuff. It is the stuff that makes us who we are. My dad took 2 weeks vacation to spend with me and my new found family. I think that is something special. Something I could have waited another 10 yrs to obtain, but one thing that will never be forgotten or dismissed.

Time spent with loved ones cannot be bought, nor marketed, nor promoted in any commercial, it is something that you have or you don't. My thoughts are about keeping those moments and forgetting the times I missed out due to my busy schedule.

Here's to time spent and laughter heard.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

December 23

There's always the feeling of anticipation this time of year.
When you see the switching of the Halloween decorations in the stores you know only too well that consumerism lives, despite any indication otherwise by the media, and their constant talk of financial cutbacks and hardships.

I wish on times I lived at a more traditional time. One that wasn't dictated by 'the haves and have nots' and the fear that if you do not keep up with the Jones' you will be as obsolete as the 8 Track player your father used to (still does) own. I didn't grow up the way young people of today have. With their gadgets and technology, their indepth sense of style and the knowledge that to get the style you must have as Paris Hilton has, or whoever may be in the social power position for young people (TI, Chris Brown etc.. the list is long). We recieved things we needed moreso than things we wanted. And we understood, that despite St. Nick being able to answer some of our wishes, he too had limits.

The reality is that there has been lost a sense of connectedness over decades. Loss of pride, of self, of family, of community. A friend of mine has found these in an area not too familiar to many of us. Indonesia and surrounding area. Its a long ways from Western Canada, and even from his no longer new dwelling place of Nova Scotia. He has prospered in this new found region with his new found life philosophies. To have to leave all that you know so that you can learn more about you is a tough journey. But, without it many of us will never venture the road of 'nosce teipsum' (*know thyself).

I think this is the season to truly delve into the meaning of ourselves. What is important in our lives and how we maintain those important (usually people) items. It is now, in this season of wonderment, of hope, and possibilities that we can see the positives and begin to forgive those who have some how wronged us. To blossom anew and to make new the focus of our life .. even if it is only until the next eve of the New Year.

Here's to good company (friends and family), good food, and good memories this festive season.
Feliz Novidad!

On writing

I wish I could write every day as much as I can. I mean as much as I physically can.
To the point where my fingers are falling off of my hands, to the point where no thought or idea remains inside, to the point where every thought and idea was born anew.

I fear sometimes that I say things others have said, I think ideas that had already been read and seen and understood and used up and thrown out. I fear that once I think I have my master piece put together the way I see it as perfect, the literary ocean has already churned this book/article/thought over and over to the point that it is the seedy pulp you see clinging to the rocks on shore, their use disappeared in the ebb and flow of the tide. But, this fear is less than the fear of letting these things remain inside, never to be seen or read or heard.

I fear many things. But I fear that I will have permitted good thoughts to fester and rot inside of this vessal. I believe it is better out than in.... so... here I continue on my journey... one day hoping a dream to be realized.